The Journey of Healing Through Faith  & Christian Peer Support

     When I was going through psychosis, I felt drawn back to my childhood church. I returned with a desire to seek confirmation that I was in the right place to find the answers I was searching for. Having abandoned prayer as a child, I began to rebuild my prayer life and started praying every day, asking God to give me a sign.

     After a couple of years of fairly consistent prayer, I had a particularly vivid and powerful dream.

     In the dream, I saw a man holding a thick, weighty book. He was moving energetically around the room, full of excitement and seeming genuinely joyful. I remember thinking, “Who is this strange man?”

     Almost immediately, it seemed as though he knew exactly what I had thought. He looked directly at me, eagle-eyed, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Then, with a grin, he seemed to land effortlessly in my lap, as though he weighed no more than a child.

     He began tearing a page from the book he was holding. He scrunched the page into a small piece of paper and pressed it gently against my lips, as though he wanted me to eat it. I instinctively resisted. I didn't want to eat a piece of paper.

     Then he said softly, “Take, eat and trust in me.”

      I remember thinking that I had no reason not to trust him, so I opened my mouth and took the piece of paper. I began to chew it.

     What struck me most was that, for the first time in any dream I could remember, I could actually taste something. The paper tasted sweeter than honey. As I swallowed it, I could feel it travelling down my esophagus and into my stomach, bringing with it a warmth that spread throughout my body, almost like the sensation of drinking whisky.

     I woke up thinking the dream was extraordinarily peculiar. I couldn't understand what it meant, but the experience stayed with me.

     The following Sunday, I was sitting in the pews of my church, waiting for the sermon to begin, when the Bible reading was announced: Ezekiel 3.

     As the passage was read, I was astonished. Ezekiel is instructed to take the scroll containing the Word of God and eat it. When he does so, he describes it as being “as sweet as honey” in his mouth.

      I remember thinking that my face must have been a picture.

      Here I was, just days after having dreamed about being given a page from a book and being told, “Take, eat and trust in me,” only to hear a passage from Scripture describing Ezekiel eating the Word of God and finding it as sweet as honey.

      For me, that moment became deeply significant. I had spent years praying for confirmation and searching for somewhere I could bring my questions. I couldn't explain the dream, nor could I prove what it meant, but the unexpected connection with Ezekiel 3 felt profoundly personal.

     From that point onwards, I felt that I had found the place where I was meant to continue seeking the answers I was looking for.